Very funny although bad review........ (please vote for KO 2002 on this site)

KO2002 and the KOA in the spotlight!

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Danne
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Postby Danne » Wed Aug 21, 2002 1:53 pm

http://www.gamershell.com/reviews/KickO ... view.shtml

go there and vote for for KO 2002...

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Introduction

Are you ready? Ready for some fast paced, realistic, action packed soccer action? Then go play EA's FIFA 2002. You will find none of the above in this ugly, pong-style, soccer suck fest. Admittedly, I have never played any of the previous games in this long running series. But, if they all suck as bad as this one I have no idea what would drive them to make more. I guess there isn't much more to say, so lets get this over with.



Graphics:

The coolest thing about this game is that it turns your computer into a time machine. When you click the shortcut to run the game your computer magically takes you back to the 16 bit days of the Sega Genesis. Wait, someone just told me this wasn't possible. But it looks about as crappy as any NHL or FIFA game back then. And this IS 3d rendered! I have no idea why they wasted their energy. The camera angle is a top down look at the proportionally tiny players. And not only does the game not look pretty you cant see enough of the field to effectively take corners or goal kicks. There is a little "map" in the upper right corner with little dots on it to represent players, but the players are almost always too bunched up for it to be useful. I guess if I am going to say anything nice about this game it’s that the player's shadows look decent and their celebration dances are amusing. I know I'm really reaching.



Sound and Music

There really isn't much to say here. It's not that the sound sucked, but there was hardly any of it. There are maybe a total of 5 or 6 sound effects used the whole time and they are totally mellow and boring until someone scores. There is also no play by play, again unless someone scores and you here an announcer yell "GOAL!!!" Yawn...



Gameplay

If you have ever played any other soccer (or even hockey) game you know that running with the ball is not usually a problem. Not this game. The ball does not "stick" to your player at all (although your opponents seem to have no problem). Instead you run into and bump it around the field (hence the pong comment). This is no problem at all...if you are running in a perfectly straight line. Trying to turn even the slightest bit is an exercise in futility. And never even consider it while going toward the sideline. You might as well run in the other direction and prepare to defend against a throw in. The aspect of the game that you expect to be instinctive, running with the ball, totally destroys any hope of this being fun. I can't even really go into shooting, passing or anything like that because I hardly ever held the ball long enough to perform any of the said actions. By the way, in all the times I played I never scored one goal (except in practice). So, not only do I hate this game, but I also suck at it.



Multiplayer

Heh, yeah right. The only thing the developers did right was to exclude a multiplayer option. They must have realized that in order to have a successful multiplayer game more than one person would have to own this flaming pile of...



Conclusion

I really, really, loved this game. No wait, the exact opposite is true. The developers behind this game should be embarrassed. Hell, their parents should be embarrassed. I'd rather play Windows Solitaire. Lastly, if your parents or anyone else accidentally pick this game up at the store (reaching for FIFA, cell phone goes off, grabs Crap Off 2002 by mistake), point out their error, never speak to them again, and go outside and use the CD as a Frisbee. You will have way more fun that way and your computer will thank you.




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Danne on 2002-08-22 12:42 ]</font>
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Postby Davetoast » Wed Aug 21, 2002 2:22 pm

I really don't believe this review, lucky no-one will read it.

This is the sort of thing we're up against Danne, fuckin idiots who can't play it and therefore hate it. They just don't realise that you can't have the graphics if you want the gameplay, and I guess good gameplay is alien to them anyway.

I was just about to mail this prick to tell him how and why he is a tosser but I can't be arsed wasting my time.
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SimonB
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Postby SimonB » Wed Aug 21, 2002 2:55 pm

Well if we all vote 10 we can push the reader score average up - I already managed to get it up to 7.0 !
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Postby Pee » Wed Aug 21, 2002 3:47 pm

7.8 <IMG SRC="/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif">
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Postby alkis21 » Thu Aug 22, 2002 6:13 am

8.2
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Postby manicx » Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:20 am

Even though I don't play KO2002 anymore, I think it's miles better than FIFA and the review is an offense to the KO community. 10 for me and up to 8.5!
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Postby JamesHBeard » Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:41 am

8.7
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Danne
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Postby Danne » Thu Aug 22, 2002 10:25 am

8.9 !!!!! <IMG SRC="/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif"> <IMG SRC="/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif"> <IMG SRC="/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif">
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Postby manicx » Thu Aug 22, 2002 11:03 am

The guy will kill himself. Pitty he has no email address under the review...
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Danny D
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Postby Danny D » Thu Aug 22, 2002 11:56 am

a ten from me.
The review is also mirrored in pdf format on kickoff world at
http://www.dinneen.com/kickoffworld/ko2002/reviews.php
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Postby JamesHBeard » Thu Aug 22, 2002 12:31 pm

Nice one Danny its up to 9.0 now <IMG SRC="/phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif">
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Postby MJB » Thu Aug 22, 2002 1:06 pm

9.1

What a f***** bad review. Classic extract:

"If you have ever played any other soccer (or even hockey) game you know that running with the ball is not usually a problem. Not this game. The ball does not "stick" to your player at all"

- unless its the Oracle version hehe!
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Danne
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Postby Danne » Thu Aug 22, 2002 1:09 pm

"The developers behind this game should be embarrassed. Hell, their parents should be embarrassed. I'd rather play Windows Solitaire. Lastly, if your parents or anyone else accidentally pick this game up at the store (reaching for FIFA, cell phone goes off, grabs Crap Off 2002 by mistake), point out their error, never speak to them again, and go outside and use the CD as a Frisbee. You will have way more fun that way and your computer will thank you."


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